The Wise Man

By Sammyah Hussainat-France


The wise man is the one who knows what he wants from a marriage. Does he want to add a strong brick to the big building of a strong Muslim Ummah? Does he want to cooperate with his wife on doing what is good and obeying Allah (sw) until they both meet him? Does he realize the nobility of the marriage institution and the goals of the marriage, and that they require great sacrifices?

The wise man is the one who gives more than he receives. He is the one who dresses nicely for his wife, and keeps himself clean just as he demands from his wife that she beautify herself and dress nicely for him. He is the one who realizes that his wife is a human being just like him who likes to see him handsome, clean, and smiling. He is the one who distances himself from all that may annoy his wife or makes her feel inferior. He is the one who does not advise his wife in public or disgrace her, especially in front of family and friends. He is the one who does not criticize her in public at all. He is the one who does not ridicule her appearance if he does not like the way she is dressing. He is the one who assists her in all ways to reach her best. He is the one who gives advice in a loving and compassionate manner. He is the one who does not compare her to other women.

The wise man is the one who tells his wife that he does not imagine a more beautiful and ethical women than her. The wise man is the one who balances his love, and respect for his mother with his love and devotion to his wife and his family. Being a good son does not come by hurting his wife, even for his mother. It comes through loving his mother, and being a devout and religious man in a manner that balances respect to both. He is the one who constantly reminds both, whenever they clash, of the instructions of the Prophet (pbuh) in his treatment of his wives and family.

The wise man is the one who enters home with a smile on his face. He is the one who asks his wife “how was your day?” and makes sure things go well with her and with the family. He is the one who listens to her, and never makes her hear what she does not want to hear. He is the one who respects her and shows her how much she means to him, and how important she is to his life privately and publicly. He is the one who praises her, and shows others how much he values her, respects her, and loves her in front of his family, especially if they do not like her or respect her. He is the one who remembers his family in front of her in a nice manner so she gets to love them, and reconcile with them and knows the value of being a member of a big family.

The wise man is the one who reminds his wife from time to time how much he loves her and respects her, and shows her how much he appreciates her beauty and morality. The list is long. To conclude, the wise man is the believer who does his best to follow the Prophet’s (pbuh) teachings and his manner of treating his wives and his devotion to his family.